I’m newly separated and it’s been a decade since I dated. I’m wondering if this part has stayed the same or if things are different now that we’re older: remaining platonic when there’s mutual attraction.

I’m becoming friends with a guy and we are attracted to each other physically and intellectually. Nothing happened but I called a spade a spade and explained that I just want to be friends because of my current phase of life. He was just wonderful about the conversation.

In my 20s, we would have done our damnedest to be platonic, but we would have ended up making out, having sex or dating eventually.

So my friends, what’s been your success rate with such things as an adult? If your intention was to remain “just friends,” did it pan out that way?

I could really, really use more friends right now. But I’m not sure if I trust myself to keep to my stated intentions.