People I meet seem to take a shine to me. Guys want to be my friend. Girls flirt and hit on me.
In the right social setting I can "act" extroverted and talkative but really I want to be alone at home. It's where I'm most comfortable.
People don't seem to be able to grasp that. My work colleagues always want to hang out, invite me for drinks, some have asked me out. A few years ago I used to go along with it because I was too awkward to say no and felt bad letting people down. It was sometimes good in a way to be out my comfort zone, but that's also exactly what it was: uncomfortable.
Nowadays I just have to let people down gently. But they really can't conprehend how someone WANTS to sit alone in his room. I'm not depressed, I'm not lonely. I truely love being by myself and not socialising.
There's more to this that I've never seen another person relate to which is I truly don't like having friends and am perfectly happy and content without them. In fact because I LOOK like a socially active person people want to be my friend a lot, and that gives me huge anxiety. I can see when a person I meet starts to shine to me, and I wait for the inevitable "hey do you wanna hang out sometime?" Question. It makes my heart race, I hate it. I don't know what's wrong with me tbh. I just really want to be alone.
This ended being a jumbled mess haha, but if anyone reads and finds some sort of interest in this then il left to edit it for clarification.