Physicians of Reddit: What's the worst injury you've seen at a routine check-up?

Idk about anyone else but it'd be kind of interesting to lay with such a peculiar set of genitalia. I imagine it'd have a similar consistency or feeling to that of my my aunt Gertrude's hens, which are rather nice and pliable. If you do that trick with the chicken laying sideways and the two lines they become hypnotized, almost like a living feathery fleshlight, which was totally erotic. I remember on one particularly nippy winter evening when they were hibernating, I decided to sneak out during a family reunion. After I applied my mandatory Vick's Vapor Rub™ Application to my second set of nipples, of which I've tattooed the images of several antique Japanese man hole covers, surrounded by Katakana depictions of the names of several extras from the set of the 1997 reenactment of the Titanic, I went to town. I was half naked, quivering, covered in my honey mustard flavored lotion, surrounded by dead chickens by the time anyone noticed I was missing from the reunion. To my surprise, I wasn't disowned or shamed by my family for my actions. I remember my babushka from my father's side ripped her clothes off, and begun to swing rotisserie chickens from her rather large nipple piercings, while the rest of my family started making seal noises, clapping, and begging to be fed pieces of chicken from her dangling breasts. Needless to say, I got off pretty clunky.

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