I am a retired flight attendant. About 20 years ago before 9/11, one of the passengers tried to hijack the plane I was on. I was doing the rounds, passing out drinks, peanuts, etc. when a man called me over to him. I walked over and noticed he had a blanket. Thinking nothing of it I asked him what the matter was. He then proceeded to pull out a large handgun and point it at me while not alerting anyone else. He told me not to speak or he would shoot me. He told me to take him back to the lavatory. I obliged and walked with him. He then shoved me in and stripped himself, and then stripped me. He forced my head in a toilet and started penetrating me from behind. He informed me that he would shoot me if I didn't take it quietly. So I did and I allowed Jim to do terrible things to me. I begged and pleaded with him to stop. Finally he did, or so I thought. "Prepare your anus, " he said. I begged and pleaded some more but he wouldn't let up. He went at me for about 45 minutes and finally, with an ass hole screaming for help and violated feeling in my body, he stopped. He then grabbed me by my hair and pushed me down the aisle with a gun to my dad. He forced his way into the cockpit with me still at gunpoint. He then shot the pilot and copilot still leaving me alive. He forced me into the copilot seat and informed me that if I did anything he would kill us all. He turned the plane around and flew it towards Washington DC and told me that he was gonna kill Bill Clinton. He flew the plane and landed it in front of the white house. He jumped out with me at gunpoint and shot a bunch of secret service guards. He burst into the oval office put a gun in bill Clintons face.

"YOU WILL DIE, " he screamed.

Then with a gun drawn, Monica Lewinsky burst into the room with a m249 machine gun and killed everyone exce0t for me.

"Wait a minute," she said, "OP forgot the serious tag, all of this is bullshit."