Pizza delivery drivers, what is the strangest thing you have seen in a customer's home?

I delivered part time for about 7 months. It was about 930 on a Thursday night, I am the only driver so I take a triple. Last delivery is pretty far from the other 2, but I am the only driver so it is what it is. I finally make it to my last stop. Knock, no answer. No lights on, so I call. This dude has a ring back tone of the jerkyboys. From there on I knew I was in for a treat. No answer. I call again and again. I did more than enough, as soon as my car is put in reverse the door cracks open and an older gentleman in a robe slips out. " Something I can help you with boy?" I respond "Someone order pizza?" " No, I wouldn't order pizza for my family, we are all asleep." I Apologize and decide to kick rocks and get the fuck out of there. "I think my little brother might have though, he's staying in up the hill here" So I follow him in the dark as he directs me to the new destination. He enters this barn that was turned in to aparments I asuume. lights go on then right off. Older gentleman returns with an a look of concern on his face " He's not here, but I see the lights are on in my garage, follow me" I am starting to get an odd feeling about this whole situation, my hand has found it’s way to in my pocket gripping the illegal switch blade knife I carry, ready to pull it out at a moment’s notice. The Garage has a side door with a small light above the entrance. He goes in and I do not follow. I don’t see any lights go on as muffled voices flow out the doorway . The man returns with his younger brother (mid 30's) and a some girl. The brother is stoned stupid, smells like dank weed wrapped in hash then hot boxed for a day straight. As soon as they come out I can tell why he wasn't answering, this guy was red in the face and the girls hair was mess, stoned sex was written over both their faces. He decided to introduce his newest piece of ass to his brother "Jess, this is my brother Rick" She extends her hands to me and joyfully says "Nice to meet you! Me and Chad are just friends!" I stand there, holding this shitty pizza digging deep for a response. "That's good, I just deliver pizzas" Older brother Rick rips little bro Chad a new ass hole well I am standing there. All up in his shit, guess Chad is everything but homeless and Rick is trying to help him out, but no drugs and no sex was part of some deal they had, this goes on for about 4-5 minutes. Feels like fucking forever and I am running out of things to stare at. At last I get to deliver this shitty Big D Inner Box from Pizza Slut. Chad says sorry, tips me 2 bucks for my troubles and I get the fuck out of there as the brothers begin going back in forth again. Awkward 20 minutes or so. I stopped delivering pizza shortly there after.

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