I just got super baked and wrote what I'm now renaming to "The Avant Garde Half-Commercial for 'The ''Coffee'' Shop"'
Not social commentary, I'm just imagining this with the black guy being the black guy from New Girl, and the white guy just walked on stage in my brain as white.
EXT. Snow ridden city block- Day
Black guy in red hat is standing outside in the cold.
White man in a blue hat with a “regular, plain old” coffee cup walks up.
“Wow, [Black Guy]! You look cold as hell, homie!”
“Oh! Yeah it’s uh, it’s quite crisp out today.”
“You’re such a good guy [Black Guy], you’re like my brother. Like as if we had grown up together or had the same parents. Siblings, by blood.”
The black man pauses and stares forward, foraging through the thick brush of this garden of racism flowering with the white man’s every word.
“Ok.” Says the black man.
“[Black Guy] we’re getting a coffee, and it’s on me bro!”
“Oh that sounds nice but, I’m actually headed to work right now.” Says the disturbed black man.”
“You’re hilarious bro! This is why I love you!” The white man grabs the black man by his arm and drags him to the coffee shop. He is cheered for when he walks in.
INT. The “Coffee” Shop- Day
Crowd cheering.
The black man looks around, amazed at how well he’s being received by these passersby enjoying their normal cup of coffee. What he didn’t know was that it wasn’t a normal cup of coffee at all, it was a “normal” cup of coffee all along!
He orders a cappucino, and watches as a girl pours vodka into a coffee cup, fails to put on a lid and then hands him 5 straws. “I gah go sih-daown” she mumbles, before passing out on the floor.
The black man sniffs the top of the cup.
“Oh so this just vodka.” He says, proclaimatively. Then, the ending credits roll and the people watching my master piece roar in ecstasy and pleasure, then weap with unknown sorrow upon the actualization of their life’s peak.
el fin