I'm fresh out of a 2 year relationship. I'm not gonna bore you with the details because in retrospect it would probably all sound pretty generic.

Of course I was distraught and I normally would just go find some ass and spend money. But im 29 now and I didn't really want to go in self-destruct mode. I decided I would try something different this time. I told myself that I would practice celibacy for awhile until I was in a better mind-state.

The next day I received a text from my ex fiances best friend from almost 6 years ago. She wanted to meet up and have drinks and get laid. Not by me of course. I agreed because I was lonely and she had just got out of a relationship at the same time I did. We had a wild night. Full of good drugs and intelligent conversation. All the sudden we have became really close and really transparent with each-other. She got in my head and I got in hers.

We laid down in the bed and just held each other but no sex. This has been going on for 3 weeks every weekend.

I told her I had feelings for her Friday and that I felt like we needed each other at this point in our life. It made her uncomfortable and she said she was going to friend-zone me. I said "I'm already in the friend-zone" She couldn't deal with the fact that I was with her best friend years ago. She told me that I should never express those feelings for a woman because it takes away the chase. I said "Fine, I will compartmentalize the fuck out of you. Now go get in the bed."

Last night I had a big dinner party and I told her she was my date. On the way there I told her "I don't know whats got into me. I'm not thinking clearly and whatever feelings I have right now are purely circumstantial." I laughed and told her I was sorry. She shook her head and said "I'm so fucking stupid."

So we get to the party and it was really classy and the two of us looked like a million bucks. I just wanted to show everyone that I was OK.

I had a great job and everything's going my way. Ive got the hottest chick in a room of 200 with me even though its platonic. "Wow this feels great." We leave and as were walking downtown her ex that she just broke up with comes walking by with another girl.

She has a meltdown in my car on the way home. I tell her its ok and to just let it out. Its normal. Let it out. We get to her house and get in the bed and have the fucking hottest sex Ive had in my entire life.

After it was over I told her "Don't treat me any different, Don't put up any bitch shields. I like what we have." I left her house at 9am this morning.

Now my mind is swimming and Ive chain-smoked for hours. I feel like Ive made a huge mistake. Both of us are promiscuous and wild. Not to be trusted in a relationship. We both play head-games. I know this chick way to well but I have some serious feelings for her. I never saw this coming.

This is my first Reddit post and I just had to get it off my chest. I don't know what to do from here.