I am a random stranger. I want to say to you that the way we speak to others is the way our family has spoken to us throughout our life as well as coping dynamics we have created to deal with our family this includes how you discuss differences, arguments, and love etc. Although we have good intentions the way we speak can infact protray something completely different from what you are trying to get across. You yourself might not realize the way you speak comes across as such as Ive described but it does. I and other strangers can see that. Everything I've said before about my analysis of what you wrote is true although it was not your intention to protray that. I think you have a communication issue.

I think its important for you to look at what I said and look at the way your family speaks to you and see if they line up. Here are some things to think about. Did your parents constantly question you on everything instead of giving you self confidence by accepting the decision you made?(belittling) Did they give you freedom to make those decisions independently? (Respecting boundaries) When your parents talked to you about a problem in your life did they cut straight to the point instead of being gentle with the way they spoke to you about it? (Insensitivy) Did someone constanly make you think you didnt do anything right ? (Shifting blame away from yourself) Where you constantly judged? (Thus you now judge others now) I myself was emotionally neglected as a child and the way I spoke to others was similar to how your speaking now. As well as I see you grew up with a narcissist in your because the shifting of blame and judgment. Which was a good coping strategy at the time since they probably treated you very poorly and you had to develop a way to see through their bullshit.

However the way you communicated in childhood was good for the way you grew up but you no longer need these coping mechanisms or to speak to others the way these negative influences spoke to you. Its hard to change to ingrained way you communicate but I think it would definitely be worth it for you to consider so your future relationships can flourish.

I want you to keep what I said in the back of your mind if you see others saying that your rude or something simialr and you don't understand why this would be why. This will be my last message to you.