Please grade my essay and suggest improvements, thanks! :)

Hi (this is the same person, I forgot my password, sorry).

I've removed all the extra words. What do you mean by splitting sentences? This is the revised version:

Suppose that there is a school teacher, say Jerry, who leads a normal life like any other person does. He goes to school every day, teaches his students, comes home to his wife and kids, spends time with them and is overall leading a life with which he and his wife are content. But Jerry and his wife have some financial problems that they have been going through for a few weeks and it is not improving overtime. One unfortunate night, Jerry gets in a cold argument with his wife and the fight begins to get ugly. There are sounds of plates dropping, of tables banging and of beating; the wife threatens to leave the house for good, but Jerry, in the heat of the moment, takes a knife and stabs her resulting in her death.

Jerry, before, during and after the incident, held a firm belief that murder is wrong. It is not up to him to decide who does and who doesn’t get to live. However, do Jerry’s beliefs matter after what he did? Should the court forgive him because he now regrets what he did and always adhered to the belief that murder is wrong? I’d argue and say ‘no’ to both of the questions.

Your actions, regardless of how big or small, carry a much heavier weight than what you may believe. People will not care about what you have to say or what is in your mind about something, as long as you don’t act on them. Any person, from any corner of the world can live in the fantasy where he/she is the best Musician, or the best Mathematician, or the best Actor— and that certainly might help her in being excited about becoming the best, however, none of that will matter as long as the she does not act on her aspirations.

Politicians can talk big about how they will change the way the country, the state or the city will work after the people elect them and how the other candidates running will destroy all the progress that has been made over the years. However, people will not be convinced of their promises and take them seriously if they fail to act on them and actually do what they say. One of the major reasons for political aversion is the amount of hypocrisy and lies that politicians use to manipulate the public and play on people’s fear to get into power, but not do anything to make people’s lives better.

I think that Steve Maraboli, the author of Life, The Truth and Being Free, put it aptly when he said, “The universe doesn’t give you what you ask for with your thoughts—it gives you what you demand with your actions.”

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