"What would justify the suffering in your life?" Is something I'm trying to answer but some days I can't find an answer and my demons win. Some days I see only the negative, I see the cards stacked against me. I see no way out. Other days I make sacrifices to the Gods that I hardly believe in, I say ok what if I told the truth more, tried to be nicer to myself and others, could I be free of my suffering and ahemm not be gay or trans? That was the closest I got to getting out of my hell. Then the idea came up that I'm trans, that I've been lying to everyone my whole life, and because I've been lying Im a psychopath and evil and deserve to die. Air tight reason to give up and kill myself. Sorry for the rant, maybe some of this could be useful maybe other stuff not so much