I felt the same way as you few months ago. I didn't think there is anyway to solve my problem at that time and suicide was inevitable. I tried to not care about the future, but the reality still makes me feel intensively depressive.

In the end, I made a commitment to wait for a year and a half. I didn't expect I could solve my problem in the future. It is more like a compromise between my rational and emotional self. I will either rigorously prove suicide is inevitable or solve my problem. Now I am trying my best to get FFS, I don't think it will save me. But future is really unpredictable. It is likely that I am still unhappy with my face, but I can't say FFS doesn't work if I never actually try it. I can only prove it by trying it. I have suffered for so many years, an additional year is not much different. I don't have much hope , but no matter how things go, I will no longer suffer in 1.5 year.

I am not sure this works for you. But I guess at least you can stay a little longer just for you little brother, right?