I'm in that place. Friendless, was in the hospital and no one noticed. Social anxiety, short and overweight. I lost 30 lbs tho, another 25 to go. Inshallah I'm gonna be muscular, really really strong by the end of the coming year. I felt like my dad didn't give a crap about me. Probably saw me as a fat loner tbh.

It's gotten better. My dad got to respecting me. I'm gonna keep losing weight and putting on muscle. Inshallah I make some friends. I'm a soph. In university. Last year, I was that kid always walking alone, while everyone else always walked in groups with their friends. Sometimes, it feels so unfair. Why does Abdallah, the arrogant Muslim who won't even talk to you, despite being a brother in Islam, get friends, a good figure, opportunities, a great reputation, and is richer than you? Why does Aya, who drinks, parties, and goes out to pride parades have wealth, health, friends, and more? I'm NEVER going to make a good duaa for them, or will ever help them. I can't make bad duaas, but I'm ready to laugh at them if they're ever in pain.

I sometimes feel like Allah doesn't care. It hurts. I've been asking him for friends since at least 3 years ago. Inshallah he answers me this year, I start school in a couple of weeks. Losing weight and making money are somewhat more straightforward to me than making or keeping friends, so it's what I've focused on.

My advice: get yourself to the gym. It seems scary at first. There will be one or two a**holes who make fun of you, but the far majority of people don't give a crap. Some might even be supportive. Make your duaa come true. I hope you make good friends who care about you, you seem like a great human being. Allah yabarik fik