Thank you so much for your response, I really appreciate you going into detail.

I don't remember the blackouts myself, my parents told me about them although in my first memory I was about 9 months old. The first blackout I remember was the night before Easter Sunday, I think I was 5. I already acknowledged that my mother was likely exacerbating my panic with her own, and you hit the nail on the head with "naively cruel", that phrase has really resounded with me because that's actually what the essence of my mother is. I know I said she's somewhat empathic but I never said I valued her opinion, she is an extremely short-sighted person that has spent most of her adult life in psychological regression. Childhood was grueling and extremely uncomfortable. The problem in our family except for the clashing egos of my narcissistic, emotionally unstable parents, was that my mother became immediately obsessed with me when I was born, and my sister was incredibly jealous that it changed her personality by a 180 degree from the first day she met me. I was mum's favourite and my dad tried to even things out by treating me badly and my sister in favour. It was a extremely volatile environment and my sister and I have very few good memories of childhood. This fits in with your view that I deal with themes of guilt, but honestly I'm not sure where in the OP I seemed guilty? I self-analyse a lot, and always have, but I've never picked up on guilt.

Sorry I wasn't more clear, the first doctor I mentioned who didn't understand what was happening was an actual medical professional, it was after that where I met the witch doctor. And again, I didn't remember the witch doctor at all until my dad told me about it last year. I didn't speak to him for 10 years so I never thought of my fainting problem as anything other than medical beforehand.

The work my boyfriend has done has been based on his own personal energy, his master was very tight-lipped about working with the energy of others because it can be harmful. I think this is why the only thing he has prescribed me is to do Qi Gong. And nay, we broke up because i wasn't being very good to him. Being very much caught up in my own negativities altered my behaviour towards him and things escalated from there. The reason why I bring up this curse in regards to it is because it may be an underlying cause, like I absolutely need to express panic in one way or another, and now that I'm not going to faint anymore I'm bursting at the seams in compensation? He only told me about this negative energy output a few days ago, he's kept quiet for almost 6 months, so please don't think he's hounding me about energy all the time. All I wanted to express is he knows what he feels when it comes to his body. I just asked him about this, he said that if it is a curse then it's a very complex, personal thing, and while he has done healing before he doesn't believe it will help.

A lot of the times I've fainted it seemed to be for no apparent reason. No emotion, except for panic that I'm going to faint, which exacerbates it of course. A good few times it's been anxiety (various), but I have that all the time, I wasn't experiencing any particularly strong anxiety before feeling faint, and I have had much worse moments without fainting.

I'm not sure what impression I gave off, but it's only in the past couple of years I've opened my mind to the spiritual nature of things again. I used to do Wicca when I was 12 and while I had good intentions for a particular spell, it was for the wrong reasons and with much naiveté, and my hand was set on fire and I responded by stopping magick completely and immediately. I haven't really taken on anyone as an authority in my head, I am still a critical person. I was just gathering and expressing what I've classed as related information on the supernatural function and possibility of this topic. I've never actually laid all this out before in a supernatural context, not before this post.

Thank you so much again for your effort, and also the dream offer, I may take you up on that as dreams have always been a big part of my life and psyche.