Please be kind to people who are estranged from their mothers

I havent talked to my mom in about 10 years. She kicked me out favoring her new boyfriend over me. I was assaulted, cops came and arrested ME because it was my 2 adults words against a beat up kid. I tried killing myself two days later. I was an only child, grew up with my mom who had me when she was 15. She was all I knew when it came to family and she basically just became a different person when she met this new guy. I spent less time at home to get away from the negativity. And id come home to demands to get a job freshly 16 with zero experience. I applied everywhere you could in a small town but surprise surprise no businesses are interested in a 16 yr old who doesnt know shit. My joblessness coalesced into a fateful evening when her boyfriend decided to put hands on me as a way to show authority over me. The second he put his hands on my shoulders, my mother walked inside the house and closed the door. I knew right then and there that she knew what was gonna happen and she could play dumb to the cops as long as she didnt witness it. We tussle for what seemed like 10 mins. I taste blood and my lips are swollen, shirt torn. I run away to gmas house where my mom had already cut me off at the pass by telling them i had spazzed out and hurt her boyfriend. Cops show up. And despite me being the only person with visible injuries..i was in the wrong. From that moment on, I'll never know a mothers love. I hate seeing other people's relationships with their families. I feel orphaned. And to know that you're sitting in a fucking cop car, cuffed at your own mothers request..kinda seals it. She spent all these years raising me and being the only one in my life, only to have it all come down to letting some new man in her life call the shots and assault me. I miss having a mom. I miss having a family and its so long ago I cant even remember if I ever felt like I belonged. Everytime these holidays roll around I feel a sense of bewilderment, this emptiness in my life that I'll never be able to look up to someone for advice. For anyone to show me the way. No sagely advice here as I fall completely unassisted into adulthood, and failing. Sorry for rant, ive bottled up these things for so long and I needed to let a little out. Some of you are so lucky to have a mom that loves you, spoils you, bothers you. Whatever. Id give anything to have parents. Especially a mother.

/r/TwoXChromosomes Thread