Hmm, that's an interesting thought, and while I am a highly confident person, I'm not sure that's the issue here... we've been to marriage counseling 3+ times, and I'm guessing if there was an issue like that it would have been brought up.

I am very respectful of my wife's feelings, but I do have and hold boundaries. I saw early on in our relationship that I thought our wants/needs didn't align, and tried to talk to her about that, but she assured me that I was wrong, and she basically treated me like I didn't know what I was talking about when it came to love & relationships and preferred her version she had fantasied about in her head.

I think what might be coming across as disrespect is just my attempt to be very rational / straight-forward. I don't write her needs or desires off at all, but I did try to describe them. My wife is a self-described extremest, even when it makes no sense in terms of reality. No disrespect meant at all, everyone close to her knows this is part of her personality.

I absolutely agree some people have more of what she wants that what I am able to give her, but I have been extremely honest with her that I've done my best when it comes to being emotional / vulnerable. I'm not exaggerating when I saw that she would tell me that says she only needs one more proverbial inch to be happy, and once she has that, it's one more... then three, then a foot. At some point I had to hold my boundaries on what I am comfortable with, before I began to lose myself.

I've been in several long relationships when I met her, and I knew myself very well, I knew what I wanted, and what I could provide. She had only been in 1 relationship and was very emotionally immature - but was very good at acting like the type of person she knew I wanted to be with (we met and were just friends while I was still dating other people), because she was "sure" we would be perfect together if she could just "fix" me. I use those words specifically because they come from our conversations about how we got here, and how we were so happy at one point, and then we weren't.

I don't feel kicked, don't worry, and I appreciate the perspective.

I guess what you see as superiority, I see as knowing what I want and who I am, and also knowing there's someone out there who will appreciate that.

I'm also perhaps going through a grieving process, which does include a bit of anger. I'm angry than I feel deceived, that I tried extremely hard to avoid this happening, and she basically didn't yet understand her own wants/needs/desires well enough to know where her boundaries were at the time, if that makes sense.

If there's anything else bugging you, or you want to say, I'm open to hearing more :)

Thank you.