Is it possible to have been sexually abused as a child & not have a specific memory of it?

From my personal experience with this, I always had a "knowing" that my childhood wasn't normal beyond the concrete memories that I had. Specifically a knowing that my childhood was sexualized and some strange trauma responses I've seen in myself. I had horrible pelvic and lower back pains for years too, not connected to my period. There was a weird vibe surrounding the memories that I had of particular relatives and their apartments. Like there was "something else" and my mind kept subconsciously fixating on them all of these years. I eventually remembered it after 1 memory surfaced and it triggered a whole bunch of others like dominoes. 1 particular survivor story triggered a massive flashback as well. And when it happens, it hits you like a moving train. And you feel like it is happening again. It's a different kind of memory, and extremely difficult to deal with. If you want to dig deep and truly remember, I think I should warn you you're in for a ride. It is very distressing realizing it happened to YOU and you will realize that your brain was protecting you by blocking it out. Before you proceed with recovering memories, ask yourself why do you want to remember? Is it just closure, or do you want to bring your abuser(s) to justice? Proving historical crime based on memories is incredibly difficult, if not impossible without witnesses or documentation. For me it was both and I deeply regretted I went there. I would have been better not knowing and carrying on with my life.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread