Don't be ashamed about romanticizing mental illness, it seems to be something more and more people are doing nowadays (Even tho I don't agree with it). Like you said "but I do believe I created them for myself, or at the very least, allowed myself to fall into and wallow in them for a while without doing anything about it".

I believe you may have just let your self fall into it, and not just straight up gave it to yourself. Probably something in your past now coming to say hello.

For me it took years of traumas and low self esteem to get me to seek professional help (therapy), strictly requested no SSRI's, I just continued to supplement with 200mg of 5-HTP daily, 1mg Ativans' for when I'm having a really bad panic attack, otherwise I use Vistiril for the tiny things. I started eating healthy(primitive diet), exercising, and yoga/meditation combo. The healthy eating, exercise, yoga and meditation were the most crucial role in me taking back my body and mind.

It's a struggle each day man, and I'm sorry you've been going through this. I don't what you've been through that could've triggered the anxiety disorder down the road, but I'm sure what I did to help mine would help yours. PM if you want to talk about anything more OP.

Much Love

PS (I wasn't trying to undermine your suffering by talking briefly about my experiences, was only using it as an example <3)