Post-Game Thread: BUF@PHI

I am done with this team.

And this is coming off of “Four Falls of Buffalo,” which I felt was great, but seriously. Aren’t there two or three of them, at most? Didn’t that seem like a forced metaphor? Every time I watch a football game, I get a beautiful, inspiring view of the city skyline. Here, it’s always Niagara Falls and Chicken Wings. So the next 30-for-30, about this team, with its record-setting drought, what’s it going to be? “Flying on the 16 Chicken Wings of Grinding Mediocrity”?

Cheating to win sucks. Seriously, this is sports. Be the better team. But with this league's rules, it's really this stupid league's fault.

The ball was in the air. So the amount of yards they were back doesn't matter, right? Who knows anymore. Why am I watching the fucking Zabruder film every time something, meaningful or not, happens? But these dickheads with the whistles call a penalty and oh no, no, we can't review that. Why have I spent hours of my life staring at some guy's ass to see if enough if it is in more of the green stuff than the white stuff, only to not have any idea what the hell I even am supposed to judge it by. Is he making a football maneuver? (sponsored by draftkings promo code: 4 hour erection, consult your physician). Even the experts, the dudes on twitter who earn a living knowing this stuff, sigh, and they say, who the hell knows anymore.

These mickey mouse teams with unscrupulous yet clever coaches will exploit these gimcrack rules with random enforcement until they can't anymore. It's not your fault, Eagles. Forgive me, I'm bitter: right now, to me, that's a cheap (yet apropos) way for my team's playoff drought to earn its driver's license. You kind of un-cheaped the win by anticipating that play we went one too many times to the well for on 3rd down at the end of the game. But, boy oh boy, we got you on that 2-quarterback play for a yard, didn't we? It's in the small things where one finds true happiness. That, and of course, Eichel. Time for us to check in with the Sabres. They have to be 20th or better and no chance of being 2 points out of dead last, right? And even if they are, at least I don't have to deal with apparently random challenges and replays to rules, right? Hockey. Hockey doesn’t do this. At least in Hockey, a goal is a goal.

Oh.

This fucking league. I swear to god, someday, that's going to change to fuck this league. I have season tickets! I go to all of these fucking things! You can't even get excited anymore (consult your physician) 3during exciting things because there will probably be a thing where they will have to check his ass and see if he was making a manure. Wait, where were his hands, where was the ball, was he smiling? Isn’t that taunting?

I shall take this in my own hands, and end the one drought I can. I’m going to make a football maneuver and get some beer and ice cream.

See you in August, next year is definitely THE year. We get that quarterback, consult your physician.

/r/buffalobills Thread