Be me, 23-year-old Raptor fan, eh.

Wake up, get out of Kawhi jersey.

Get ready to Do My Job.

Put on Lowry jersey.

Head to the Tim Hortons next to my apartment.

One down the road sucks, eh.

Order is wrong, whatever, Lowry says coffee is poison anyway.

Shoot the cup into the trash and yell “KAWHIII”.

Hop on the subway.

See a Hornets fan in the front car.

Yell “Kemba” as whole train chants “We the North”.

Tweet “LeBum is trash” on my iPhone 2.

Get to work, head into Tim Hortons.

Time to get to work, see someone wrote DeFrozen on the freezer door.

Just me, my co-worker and DeMar DeFrozen.

Most beautiful girl from York walks in. Solid 3/10, eh?

She's wearing a Vince Carter jersey and some strained yoga pants.

Ask to myself, who the fuck is that.

Realize I’ve only been a fan since 2014.

Fucking God’s Plan.

Get off work, take the subway home.

Stop into the ACC for a drink or twelve.

Fucking vendor cut me off after six beers. $108 dollars wasted.

Whatever, not even buzzed. Brampton blood.

Get to apartment, check messages.

Mom calls me and says three of my cousins were shot in Etobicoke today.

Less than usual, a good day.

Get out of Lowry jersey, put on 6 God jammies.

Check under bed for Paul Pierce

What the fuck, he's there.

Run to the kitchen, see dad sent me a cheque.

Go to open envelope.

Run to bank, teller says it’s fake and this is bank fraud.

Cops show up and ask how it all went down.

I call my dad and he picks up and says…

Hello this is Jeremy Lamb