I remember the first time I was sexually propositioned by a Philadelphia 76er.

I was at the Center that day, as I was every home game. I usually got there five hours before the game started, just so I could be first in line. The lines are always incredibly long, so I wanted to be first. I wanted him to see me first. Who is "him," you ask? The alpha male of the team, of course: Ben Simmons.

I would stand at the edge of the court during practice and just admire him. The way he would dunk the ball would get me so hot and bothered, my pants would become uncomfortably tight. I would have to excuse myself to the bathroom to clean up, but I would be right back there, watching him. I would usually stay until the arena closed, and then I would be right back the next home game. The way he looked at me while he asserted himself over the visiting team made me know he wanted me, and I knew I had to let him have me. Well, eventually I managed to hide in one of the bathrooms after it closed, and I knew I had my chance. Around midnight, I walked back out onto the court and saw Ben still practicing. I made my move. I turned around, removed my clothes, and slowly backed myself into him. I didn't want to look him in the eyes, lest it upset him. He started hooting at me, and I knew things were going well. I could feel his hot breath on the underside of my testicles. The moment I had been waiting on had finally arrived. I could hear his breathing as he forcibly bent me over and mounted me, and then I took him, all of him, inside of me. A few powerful pumps and it was all over. I lay there, wishing I was an Instagram model so I could be pregnant with his child.