She would make plans to go out drinking with her friends at grimy college bars and not tell me.
1) Create boundaries with your LTR. If she breaks the boundary, you walk.
It's understandable to have a boundary on bars/clubs when you are in an exclusive relationship. Your SO shouldn't be going to bars unless she intends to be hit on and brought home by other men. She isn't LTR material.
it would be impossible to hold a conversation with her unless in person.
You should not be holding conversations over phone.
Phone is for logistics mate.
she would always choose her friends over me 9 times out of 10
If she doesn't make you her priority, leave.
She isn't worth your commitment.
She blames all of those problems on her not wanting to get too attached to me because she was afraid of getting hurt
This is female speak for "I don't take responsibility for anything that I do.
When she goes and cheats on you, she'll use the same reasoning. She had "feelings" for him and "it just happened".
However she does basically none of that stuff anymore and we she treats me great. Almost a complete 180.
This change won't last.
I think of my girlfriend as the diamond in the rough.
Your girlfriend is absolute shit. Let me put this into perspective for you.
My LTR cooks dinner every single night, works a full-time job that pays for her own expenses and adds to my investment account, she does the laundry, she is always available for sex and she craves it (typically 3-5 times a week), her parents are wealthy, she's great at cleaning and organizing everything, she plays my games with me (paradox games, EU4, Crusader kings, Civ 5)..etc.
And I wouldn't even call her a "diamond in the rough", she's a woman, like every other woman, and I keep her around because she adds value to my life. Understand?
She's only been with 3 guys but the first was at 14 so I don't consider that bad.
First, she's probably lying about her number. And she doesn't count one night stands, blowjobs, handjobs, anal..etc.
Second, if her number really is low, she's going to have sex with tons of men with the logic that she didn't have sex with lots of men when she was younger. She feels "left out". She feels like she needs to "find herself".
She's a sweetheart and I trust her.
1) She's not a sweetheart.
2) Don't trust her.
Her "feelings" control her actions, and those feelings change by the minute.
Am I controlling?
Having boundaries is not controlling.
You set boundaries. If she follows them, you keep her. If she breaks it, you get rid of her.
There is nothing RP about you.