Pro or against self-diagnosis

I agree that the main issue is access to diagnose, but I disagree that people who are technically able to have a duty to do so and are forfeiting their ability to identify as autistic if they chose not to. I did not say that people who chose not to are "fine where they are", I said, "figured out a life that accommodates you". Those are very different things - being fine implies that they have no issues in life and being accommodated means, well, that they are accommodated. I could afford to pay $3,000 to get diagnosed, but I don't think I can mentally handle the process while maintaining my work and parenting duties (one of the way I accommodate myself is not taking on more than I can do to minimize meltdowns and avoid burnout) and I chose to save any extra money I have for my daughter because I'm not sure she'll ever be able to work (she is formally diagnosed at level 1 but she rarely leaves the house, rarely speaks and is at a 2nd grade level academically even though she's in 9th grade). I feel that her future financial needs are more important than a report that tells me what I already know - and yes, I'm 1000% sure. Interestingly, most of my cousins' children on my dad's side have official diagnosis, which started in the past 20 years when us cousins began taking our children in for them because we learned that our family wasn't "normal" when we found out what autism was and talked among ourselves about it.

How am I harming the community? I'm not out there making videos saying autism is not a disability and that I'm cute and quirky or whatever. I don't even disclose to most people IRL. I sub to several autistic communities on reddit for support, because I want to be around people that are like me. It's hurtful to hear that I'm harming a community that I care deeply about for making the choices that I think are best for my family.

/r/autism Thread Parent