At the moment I’m kinda going through a period of doubt, but for me it’s always been very important that a religion be consistent (which, besides accident of birth, is why I’m Catholic—the magisterium is supposed to guard against heresy. In other words, teachings that don’t align with past teachings). My thought has always been, if it isn’t divinely inspired, if I’m willing to just drop some parts as I see fit, why don’t I just fully embrace the whims of my own conscience and reasoning and drop it altogether?

I know that I am fallible and need authorities to learn from, just like I would with any other subject. The question is, how to know which one is valid? Idolatry is giving honor to a created thing that should only be given to God—excessive nationalism, for example, could be a form of idolatry. I think the Bible is definitely right when it forbids idolatry, since making the wrong thing your moral guide will have consequences—look at all the fanatics throughout history. So how do I know I’m not just calling some false teaching divine? Well, it should be consistent and true (and a lot of the Bible does seem true, even if mostly symbolically). If I only really believe in it as a nice book to take inspiration from, I don’t think I’m really religious.

As a tangent though, there are some things in Catholicism which are practices meant for a specific time, and others which are more universal (tradition vs Tradition). Priestly celibacy is one of the former. Teachings on sexuality are part of the later.

That personal need for consistency is what is really fueling my struggle with belief at the moment. There are a lot of arguments from the new atheist crowd that I don’t really have satisfying answers for, and I’m trying not to engage in rationalization or wishful thinking (my confirmation saint was St. Thomas Aquinas—reason must be compatible with faith, or one is bunk). I’ve also been going through Church history trying to understand if it’s teachings (at least those considered infallible) are really consistent throughout history, and trying to see if “right belief” really does lead to righteousness (or if it just leads to fanatical bloodshed).

https://biblehub.com/matthew/5-18.htm

If what Jesus says here isn’t true, then there’s no point to any of it. If this isn’t true, then I should trust in my own moral reasoning above everything else—which is definitely not compatible with the Bible.