On the off chance you're talking about who I have so callously called my ex wife, when instead I should have stuck with Boo Boo, but let alcoholic bravado screw that up again.

First off: let me say that I'm still convinced she doesn't know anything about what's going on. Honestly: I... can't... process. No. Not going there.

Second off: I'm not convinced that ANY of you are real. I have no proof. This whole thing could be Platonic's Cave*.

Finally: Being her entertainment for 30 years is fine by me. I'm becoming a better me so I have the chance for another 30, if she's interested.

While I've been on an increasingly engineered wild goose chase thinking someone had it out for her/me/us - which is actually, true - I've also been learning how to deal with sociopathy. I should have let the little lies go.

I keep responding poorly because I didn't know the proper behavior for when people lie. Now, I do.

She's my mate, if she'll have me.

On a side note: I crossed a line thinking other people needed to be saved. Now I understand those people are the ones who get paid for that, and are more than capable of doing that themselves. If they get burned, it's none of my business.

Live and learn.

Now, thing is, everyone wants me to leave her alone for a bit. There's an issue I have with that, and that's that my family was back together for a precious few weeks, then were driven apart based on deception by third parties.

Not only have people been screwing with me and her, I can't rule out the possibility they're screwing with my son. And as for screwing in general... well, I have no proof that certain forensic evidence wasn't planted, but then again, I'm not sure I have proof that I exist.

Finally, for the sick S.O.B. that was goading me on to kill myself - Not today. Baby steps.

*Platonic is Plato's second cousin, twice removed. Basically, if there were tracks back in those days, it would be the vomitorium on the other side of the tracks. But I digest...