Problems since becoming single

Let me come at it from the other perspective. In the past two years I've lost a parent, broken up with a partner, been diagnosed with a chronic disease, which then trashed my career, etcetera. I've also been with two wonderful young guys.

I fucked up both of those relationships completely. One I never should have gotten into, as we were really only sexually compatible, and the other one ended disastrously. It was only after the second guy broke up with me that I realized that while I'm at a point in my life where I'm okay by myself, I'm absolutely toxic in a relationship.

I've got a lot to work on for a while, and I don't want anyone to get hurt during construction. Getting emotionally involved with someone right now is like inviting a date to a mosh pit.

So, to my point. There are times in your life when you desperately need love and companionship, and if you don't have those structures in place when crises happen you can reach out for help from the wrong people, in the wrong ways. There are times when we really shouldn't be in relationships, and those are the times when we're least able to judge just how fucked up we are, and how much damage we're doing to those around us. It doesn't excuse anything, but I thought it might help explain.

From another person going through the same sort of lunatic roller-coaster, thanks for doing what you could. I'm sorry he didn't treat you like you deserved. Don't feel bad about leaving, staying would have been worse for both of you. And get whatever distance you need from this guy to get yourself better. Do not get back together with him, for his sake and yours; he needs to move on from this just as much as you do.

In terms of being happy, you're on your way. You're taking steps to figure out what's next, by doing stuff like posting here. It's a sure sign that you're healing, that you're about ready to go find what you're looking for. Start getting out of the house and doing the things you love, or the things you've always wanted to learn how to do, and be open to possibilities. Vegas is a weird place, but there's got to be a few other people there who feel the same way you do.

/r/gayyoungold Thread