I'm 19 and I've done Magic Truffles 3 times. They're practically the same except it grows underground rather than above. I think my depression started when I was around 13 and it's only been getting worse. However, almost a year ago me and 2 of my friends agreed to try psychedelics. I was the only one who looked into its medicinal purposes and the more spiritual side of it. We ate it and I genuinely had an amazing time. The next few days I couldn't stop thinking about all these deep, profound thoughts. It led me to a man called Alan Watts. He's an old philosopher who I still listen to, it sort of gives me a sense of hope when I'm listening. I did psychedelics a second time a few months later and treated it more of a medicine than a recreational drug. After that trip it felt like everything was going to be okay and I started enjoying life a bit more. But last September I tried it again with 3 friends. I'm not sure, even after a few months, if I had a bad trip. The visuals weren't disturbing in any way but the feelings and mind loops endlessly flowing for hours was the most bizarre thing. I never said a word to anyone for the whole time. I remember sitting there questioning if these people are even my friends (I've never felt like that towards them). I just felt comfortable and accepted everything as it is. The problem is that it has stuck with me and I feel myself losing it. I went a 3 months without talking to my friends and them not messaging kept playing on my mind. It's like it's made everything ten times worse and accelerated it. I've been sleeping for 14+ hours. It's 4am now. I regularly stay awake for 24+ hours to try to get to sleep earlier. My state of mind right now is completely warped. I'm comfortable with the idea of death,