I'm someone who has trouble with helping myself when it comes to depression/self harm/alcoholism. My experience is that I only have the motivation to recover 30-50% of the time. If I'm not feeling it, I do revert back to unhealthy coping mechanisms, and I think it just happens when I'm feeling particularly hopeless. However, I'll still go to therapy/counselling and discuss how much I've been self harming and drinking, but I use it more as a way of just getting it off my chest and getting rid of keeping it a secret because I have no one else to talk to about it, I'm not necessarily looking for advice during those times. But as someone who also has half a psychology undergrad and volunteered in mental health clinics, I understand how frustrating it can be to feel like you're wasting your time and breath. However, please note that your time is not wasted because it gives people the chance to just get things off their chest.