As a psychotherapist subreddits like r/meirl and r/depression make me angry and I'll tell you why they are unhealthy for people with mental health problems

I'm not a therapist but I have major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder and some other stuff going on. I know exactly what you mean. I used to spend a lot of time on wowthanksimcured. It was fun at first and funny. It was making fun of people who are like "if you do yoga every problem in your life will go away" or people that are like "just think positive and don't be sad". You know, things that aren't exactly helpful. I'm totally aware exercise and physical health along with changed perspective can be helpful, but "just don't worry about it" still isn't gonna help mid-panic attack. The reason I dislike this sub now(yet still subscribe for some reason) is because they take everything so personally. Someone shared a Twitter post at one point saying "instead of saying 'I have to' say 'I get to'". The post said nothing about depression, anxiety, or mental health. Seemed like it was targeted at people stuck in the same shit-different day mindset. People went crazy on the sub. Saying how that helps no one and blah blah blah. They think every piece of well meaning advice towards anyone is just trying to trivialize their problems. One person even commented "oh yeah, I GET to take my AIDS medication everyday" acting like that isn't positive. In reality, yes, you do. There are thousands(maybe millions, probably, not totally sure) of people suffering from AIDS around the world who do not have that medication and would love to. The alternative to not taking your medication is living without it, not living without AIDS. I'm not saying that person should be thrilled to have AIDS, but they don't even consider themselves fortunate to have access to healthcare. And everybody agreed with them. One person said 'oh yeah, I GET to go to work everyday' and honestly, yeah, you do. I would love to work but as of right now, I cannot. And it sucks.

Another time someone shared a cute little comic they found online. The first panel showed a sad woman sitting on the floor and it was all grey(she may have been crying) and throughout the panels a little toddler walks in and gives her a hug, the woman is smiling in the last panel and it has bright colors. I saw this to mean that this artist either loves kids or has a child in their life who makes them feel better when they are sad. It said absolutely nothing about mental health or kids curing depression but of course everyone was like "oh yeah, because hugs from kids totally cures mental illness". Nowhere in the comic did it imply the woman(or artist) was mentally ill. This one really annoyed me for a couple reasons. One is because despite having depression, I also have regular everyday things that make me sad. I also have a few young nieces and a nephew. I also have a lot of baby cousins. And when I am very sad about something and one of them gives me a hug, or draws me a picture, or says they love me, it makes me smile and I'm happy for a moment. Am I automatically cured of my depression and experiencing lifelong happiness? No. Will I be sad about the situation again later, probably. But that isn't the point. that may not apply to everyone, not everyone likes kids, but still, you get the idea. The other reason that sub annoys me that became very apparent in that post with the comic is that they seem to mix up emotions with mental illness. Mentally ill people and advocates have spent a lot of time trying to explain that those are different. Being nervous or anxious before a test, or when you think you're gonna get fired, or when you did something wrong is not the same thing as an anxiety disorder. Being sad for a few days or even just feeling blue and depressed is not the same as actually having depression. Yet somehow they see a picture of a sad person who smiles and they're like "look this depressed person got cured by something that won't cure it", even though 1, depressed people can still smile and 2, being sad isn't depression and that is irrelevant to mental illness.

I also hate it because even though I understand how your brain sucks you into wanting to stay in the state you're in, it annoys me how quickly they drag down those who do see their depression improve with exercise, or hiking, or healthy diet, or socializing. If it doesn't work for you, it just doesn't, but why hate on someone it does work for. A lot of these people constantly act like there is no therapy, treatment, medication, or self care at all that could even slightly minimize the severity of their depression. I've never seen anything like it. Or they shoot it down before even trying. I a, very guilty of that one myself and I annoy myself when I do it, but I can't imagine having somebody who is saying how they feel so much better after taking up biking and saying I should maybe try it sometime and just telling them how they are wrong and a jerk for implying that my depression could be cured when that isn't what they are doing.

I am honestly not sure if I go on the subs you mentioned(OP) but I go on ones that sound like they do similar things. The self deprecating humor, jokes about being depressed or mentally ill. I do find it funny. But I also try to not totally surround myself with it because I don't want it to be my entire identity. I like to laugh about it. I personally know someone who is on a Facebook page that is similar and they constantly post about Xanax and how they don't eat, and run on caffeine, and don't sleep and how they can't function as an adult. Which is interesting to me because I am in no way saying that this person isn't mentally ill, but they are very much a functioning adult. I know a few people like this actually. They have cars, a stable romantic relationship(at least I know 2 of them do, idk about the others), they've moved out of their parents house, and have at least one steady job. So what I don't get is why people are suddenly so fixed on being mentally ill, and having depression or anxiety or personality disorders. It's like trendy and unfortunately I see a lot of people who do have those things or at least post about them using them to validate their own shitty or abusive behaviors and act like people are wrong for not putting up with it. This is not everyone, obviously, just some people I have come across and some people I know in person.

/r/TrueOffMyChest Thread