When I was 12 I had a girlfriend who committed suicide, when it happened my emotions went completely numb until I met a specific girl who rekindled my human feelings. 2 years later we break up and I'm vaguely devistated, yet another 2 years pass and we still talk everyday as best friends. I tell her that the reason I lost all emotion is because I attempted suicide following my ex's successful attempt, this was not true.

I now have told all of my closest friends about this non-existant event and feel absolutely fucking disgusting whenever I think of it, I tell them when I'm in a depressive episode that I always think of how my vision was fading to darkness as I bathed in a bath full of my own blood. I even sometimes believe it myself and go into a panicky episode, thinking I've felt the real grip of death consuming me.