I am a medical resident. I received a nice call today from an old classmate today; with all the coronavirus stuff going on, I guess she just wanted to catch up. She was a good friend there, and I had a pretty big crush on her. I asked her out toward the end of our time in school together and, well, she said no. We both moved on literally (we relocated to separate states after graduation) and I moved on emotionally (or so I thought). During our conversation today she let slip that she is dating someone. This is bittersweet news - I am happy for her, but three years later I did not expect to feel so melancholic about it as well.

Anyway I will be working in the hospital next week. I am an "essential" employee, and will probably be reassigned to one of the ICUs. As the coronavirus situation has developed I have felt rather sanguine. There is a part of me that sees the benefit in being single now - this is a once-in-a-generation experience, and there is no one waiting for me at home to worry. But after her call (and a recent rejection after four dates), I am simply reminded that I will be facing this crisis alone. And the loneliness is particularly acute tonight.

Thank you for letting me vent.