Same, right down to supposedly growing out of it in high school. Turns out, NOPE, the ED flame was still there all along, never completely snuffed out like I fooled myself that it was, but just waiting to come roaring back the second I felt things spinning out of control again.

It’s never stopped being there in the background kind of crackling quietly, always counting and tracking and paying reeeally close attention, but now that my area is on lockdown and the news is All Bad Things, the flames are absolutely blazing up into the sky, and I’m fully, 100% back on my bullshit. I think there are probably a lot of us who need to feel in control of something right now. Sending tons of hugs. <3