I'm Queer and Muslim, and have wondering where my place is these days. It seems I made a place for myself, in my home, but not amongst my family or most other Muslims I know.

When I was more religious I hid my sexuality a lot, which is a given, but I also hid my poltical views. I felt so sick having to listen to my friends proudly vote against universal marriage, and how it's fine as long as you don't act on it. They'd speak ill of progressive movements in our community and how they're not real. It hurt a lot because it felt like they were erasing a biological variable without thinking of the consequences beyond their small world.

So, I left those friends. After awhile I realized there is no place for me, and that isn't right. I kept the practice up and continued on for 3 more years doing all one should as a Muslim, albeit alone obviously. I still never mentioned things unless directly asked, and just let things be.

I finished college and began to live off of me and my spouse's income. As we slowly raked up the moolah, I slowly gained strength. I began to think of why I was here and what I was doing and for the first time I finally came out. And after participating in a vigil/march yesterday I came out to my parents.

They say it's fine cause I married the opposite sex, so I must not be queer (bisexual) anymore. I refuted that to only be told it's once again just a phase people go through when they're younger. I refuted that too, but my mom gets another call and has to go - saying it's all ok as long as I don't tell anyone. But, it isn't.

My inlaws will never know, or they'll do the same mental gymnastics at bi-erasure while telling my spouse to leave me. And this does bother me.

My parents bother me cause they said stupid things, but inlaws and former friends bother me more because all of this does nothing to create a place for queer muslims, or rather queer people at all.

And what am I to do? I live in San Francisco and doubtfully will face anything for being queer. So, how am I to help? I stopped hiding, but how can I make a space and hone for others? I really don't know, but I want to.