Because Abigail brings reality into world that most people are coming to get away from. That’s what annoys people.

John is operates under the philosophy of doing whatever I have to do to keep my family safe. Abigail is obviously thinking along the same lines but she’s thinking on a macro scale. Most people get annoyed when she gives John a tough time for shooting the guys that came after him and Jack. But they also forget that those three people wouldn’t have come after them if he didn’t shoot that guy in Roanoke. Sometimes getting robbed is safer than fighting it. John doesn’t get that actions can have long term consequences. Abigail gets that. She also gets that even though it’s been years since the gang broke up but that doesn’t mean that the law won’t come looking. If you make too much noise, word will get out and John will come under fire again.