one factor is also; people meet (or used to meet) mostly through social circles. and one thing about a social circle is; you better have it already

most people only care about where you’re at, not how you got there

so while an introverted woman may say “i want someone like me, who is not all hyped about going out and doing social stuff all the time, and prefers to chill”... first of all, how are you gonna find that kind of person, or do you count on them finding you? second, how long do you think your boring, unstimulated ass is gonna tolerate someone exactly the same?

people are averse to the unfamiliar and uninclusive of strangers. this is why i think “just get off reddit and socialise bro” is such a senseless and frankly demeaning ‘advice’, when the next thing you are told by the same person is basically “if you want it and work for it, you can find a friend or your own group of friends; just not through me, you loner weirdo”