I can say that early on, I would not even try to put it on your BS. When I found out my husband had cheated my rage could not let me think straight, and if he were to say “well we both weren’t doing good in our marriage” I would have had an absolute FIT. What would have helped was him admitting he made a terrible mistake breaking my trust. And him apologizing every time I was upset when talking to him. Both are things I haven’t gotten from him. We’re going to be bringing this up in our next discussion and I so dread these talks….

Once time has passed some and more productive discussions occur, we were able to talk about our marriage and how we both are to blame for unhappiness. But by no means was I responsible for his decision to lie to me and step outside of our marriage. That was his choice alone, and a devastating one.

Might be just my experience but I would not have wanted to hear those words the first 2-3 weeks.