Just because you don't fit in with mainstream black culture, doesn't mean you don't fit in with black people. I went through a similar situation as you at your age.

I spent most of my youth around black people and black culture, but I wanted to branch out. So, in college, I hung out with a lot of different kinds of people, mostly white.

We got along well enough, but I never saw myself as one of them, so I kept a distance and found new people to hang out with. This continued into my working years. People I'd hang out with, go drinking with, hell I'd even go to their weddings and vacation with them, but I never fully accepted their tribe. I was still just visiting, still wandering.

Eventually I moved overseas where I was literally a foreigner who didn't even speak the language. Learned the language, made a lot of close friends, but this time, it felt right. I found my tribe. The craziest part? It felt like I was back home again with my family.

So honestly, my advice to you to you is to seek out your tribe, wherever they may be. Honestly, if I could do it all over again, assuming I'd land in the same spot, I would have attended an HBCU.