My family was normal, good, etc, by all appearances, and I spent most of my life wondering wtf was wrong with me and why I was miserable with this upbringing. No one ever fought, or yelled, or abused me, nothing obvious whatsoever. We had a nice house and I never went hungry, or was lacking for material things. There was no kissing or hugging either, which I didn't notice until I was older and experienced other people besides them.

When I was in my 40's I figured it out. They ignored everything real, everything negative, and just pretended. They were and are very good at it, and besides me, everyone still seems to buy it. The concept of "emotional neglect" would apply. In some ways it is more difficult than overt issues, because you might not even realize it is happening. And when you finally figure it out, no one else can see it. And since no one gets hit or yelled at, you can feel foolish for getting down about it. But it is very bad, because you never learn to deal with real issues. At least if there is yelling and open abuse, you know what the problem is. I am not downplaying that in any way that is horrible too of course.

So if you are down, something is wrong, you just haven't figured it out yet.

I have had periods of years where I was fine, but now at 50+ I still get depressed episodes. I am in one now.

I hope you can figure out what your issues are and find some relief.