I messaged you privately but I feel this whole thread deserves an explanation. I was born premature, I had underdeveloped lungs and when I was in neonatal ICU I was given oxygen to open them up and the doctor overadministed and caused arythmia and I was pronounced dead for 3 mins. It caused a memory deficit. I have a 1% working short term memory. As for the screw the system story. It is a front I've put up since I got in because I'm ashamed that I failed Intel after I had done incredibly well on the entrance tests and 3/4ths into the course, only to be sent to a job as a cook. After living with a memory problem for your whole life you don't like to admit that it holds you back but it's held me back my entire life, and its incredilbly frustrating to not succeed due to a limitation you can't control. Stress+my condition doesn't do well together, I start to forget more than usual. After being dropped because I couldnt pass the tests all I wanted to do was start college so I had something to strive towards for the next 3.5 years of my contract. I kept being denied my application because our MSgt wouldnt allow any of us to go due to time constraints. This stressed me out along with the fumbling disaster the last 3 years my "career" had been. I was incredibly depressed, and with nothing to go for, for my own health I felt I needed to find a way out. Am I a asshole for being ashamed of my situation and lying about it? Yes, I live with that guilt every day. But I knew for my well being I needed out. I'd much rather be looked down upon for a mistake I made in my life than to be another topic in a suicide prevention brief, which my family and I felt wasn't too far off, even though to this day I deny anyone I know that I'd ever try and hurt myself.