I simply don't know how to go about that stuff. Not fidgeting (motionlessness) is the easy part. The body will feel about like it does when I go to sleep and I quite enjoy the feeling. But when I sleep I have something to do - basic stable dream landing space, and things to tend to there, but there isn't anything like that in this sort of meditation.

I have no clue how to stop my mind from thinking. I have no clue how to get myself to listen to something without actually thinking about it, even if it is just a little "bomg, bomg, bomb" with drums or my heartbeat. I don't know why using my inner narrator is wrong or how I'm supposed to concentrate without it. I get confused by which parts of breath I'm supposed to pay attention to - there are so many details and choices with it. I'm supposed to concentrate without actually thinking about what i'm concnetrating on somehow. Then I read stuff about having proper concentration and not "forcing it", that I'm supposed to relax properly, i'm supposed to count breaths but not actually control them, and all of these other rules and etc. I simply don't have a mental grasp on how to go about any of this stuff.

And the truth is, the trance stuff is the sole reason I'm meditating. It isn't so much that the thought comes up during meditation - I mostly try to just keep track of the sensations and stuff that are happening at the time and try to figure it out later... much like doing a research paper. Read and save and sort it out later on. But I do worry about it during the rest of the normal day. To me, there is a lot of things I simply can't do because I don't know what it is and haven't experienced it that I know of.