you sound exactly like me. honestly tho for me the biggest fear of quitting was "what if i dont know how to enjoy myself without it" or "what if im not fun or what if i cant cope without it"

all of these things about me not being able to live life without it i was afraid. i was so addicted to having it as a crutch, daily smoker always wanting to just be under the influence for whatever was going on to forget it all.

strange thing is i was never a smoker until a few years ago, didnt even drink either. so i knew how to live and function without it.

ive since quit, and the best way for me was finding a reason to quit. for me it was pursuing my dream career and honestly having a goal to work towards was what made the difference. just wanting to quit casually wasnt going to work because it didnt in the past, but knowing i was doing it for a reason made all the difference and im so glad i did.

not saying i dont miss smoking cause i do but i can totally do without it and im happy, and one day ill smoke a bowl again and it will be great but for now, being sober is really the way to go and thats what im doing.

Good luck