What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you dirty Chichimec? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Calmecac, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Tarascan border, and I have over 300 confirmed kills with my macuahuitl.

I am trained in jaguar warfare and I’m the top archer in the entire Triple Alliance armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Cemanahuac, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Pochteca spies across Anahuac and your calpulli is being tracked right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your altepetl. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Excan Tlahtoloyan and I will use it to its full extent to wipe you and your miserable Tlatoani off the face of Cemanahuac, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you worthless son of a Tlameme. I will hold your face over a fire fueled by chile peppers and pierce your tiny dick with a maguey spine.

You’re fucking sacrificed, kiddo.