r/India, are you living the life you hoped for as a teen?

"When I was a kid, I wanted to be a pilot. I remember making different type of airplanes by folding them, some powered by rubber bands etc. I was interested in complex things, even though I had no clue how it worked. Thought it would be cool to know these things, that to say to others that I knew about them will make me popular and recognizable. Pilots were stigmatized as the elites of professionalism back then, it seemed impossible to me and thus it became my fantasy. I never took it seriously, but the desire to fly remained in its true spirits.

When I was a teenager, I thought knowledge would help me get near to my goal. I started reading more and more about other things, physics, mechanics and math. I didn't understand them quite well but it was like a prejudice for me, that I knew things more than others. Friends began to disappear, as they found me annoying and called me a boaster at times. I just had information to share, I didn't tease them, hurt them or make fun of them. So my desire was to become better than them. I learned more, taught myself how to drive - alone. I was the first among my friends to drive a car.

Late teenage, enter college. I grew up to be a self centered idiot who thought others were pointless in this world. I was someone superior to them, that my knowledge and theirs makes a lot of difference. Then I fell in love. Everything changed, I learned empathy, compassion and what it truly feels to be loved. I finally experienced something I was searching for my entire life: joy. Then I broke up. My dream then connected to the Internet.

People have their own minds, you can love someone blindly and not agree with them. I broke up because I was afraid to be normal. I was afraid I'd forget my dream. Once I broke up, at some point of time I became aware of how fucked up I became. I didn't have an ambition, an aim or a goal. I always just wanted to be best at what I do. So I learned more about everything I could, read a lot of things, saw many videos(the entire How It's Made series) and filled my head with useless information.

I'm an adult now. I don't remember my hopes. I don't remember my wishes, I don't even know how much of the above is true. All that is left now, is a lot of sadness, anger and that one single wish - to be a pilot."

Is something I was writing as an outline/summary for a story. The character is based on my life, wanted to be a pilot but ended up as an RC pilot (close enough amirite) :P

/r/india Thread