I can't speak on the GoT rape stuff because I'm not caught up yet, but from what I've heard people were pissed because it was gratuitous, not from the books, and so they interpreted it as the writers using rape as a shortcut to get to "grimdark fantasy world that sucks to live in," which kind of trivializes this very real and awful thing that happens.

Honestly, in retrospect I think the butt slap was more people on both sides of GG itching to pick a fight and got way overblown, because it's negligible and works with her as a character.

The outfit stuff is tricky. I think Laura is a bit overdone, but like you said, those outfits do exist, and it's easy to just roll my eyes and move on than to make a big thing out of it. Jim Sterling actually put together a good video about this. His argument is basically that it comes down to objectification versus idolization (I think that's the word he uses) with women and men, respectively. It seems pretty clear to me that these characters are built to pander to young men, though a woman can obviously get something out of them, too, like your ex.

Here's the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hR9UMgOFeLw

If F.A.N.G. had melted a woman, I think it would depend on the context. If she was tied up, begging and screaming for her life, yeah, that would be pretty upsetting and fucked up to watch. If she were a defiant soldier type, probably less so. I'm not sure what the context is with the guy, so apologies if I'm off base, here.