(Technically, this was my second to last OkCupid date, but it was markedly more interesting than my most recent one.)

I don't know how I'd rate this date other than 'Wat.'

I usually spend a few days messaging back and forth with OkCupid people before agreeing to go out with them, but I was feeling bold and this guy seemed stable, so I went out with him on the same morning he messaged me. We met at a local cafe for brunch. The first 15 minutes or so involved him sitting in near-silence with a bizarre smirk on his face, muttering one or two words here and there. I guess after that, his coffee kicked in or something, because he would NOT stop talking about his taxidermy collection. Every new point I brought up, he'd find a way to tie it back into his dead stuffed animals. Relentless.

Well, the few instances during which he wasn't on about taxidermy, he was asking our server questions about the salmon. Is it really Alaskan salmon? It was. Was it farmed or wild? As the menu indicates, it's wild. Are you sure it was wild? I'm sure, but I can verify that with the chef if you'd like..? Please do. (Bear in mind this was a Sunday, so the restaurant was incredibly busy and seemingly short-staffed.) He seemed way too pleased with himself for asking these questions, by the way.

So the server came back to our table after awhile and informed my date the chef confirmed that the salmon was indeed both wild and hailing from Alaska.

'You know, I once read a NY Times article about how a majority of restaurants mislabel their fish. I'll actually just have the pierogis.'

Facepalm.

I was obviously pretty embarassed after that, especially because he was so nonchalant about the whole ordeal when it was apparent that our server was scrambling to keep up with all of her tables. One of my few first date pet peeves is rudeness towards food service people, so I wasn't having it.

After we got over the salmon debacle, he resumed talking about taxidermy, made some comment about how easy I was to talk to, back to taxidermy, some brief mentions of his 'start-up,' and yet even more stuffed dead animal stuff.

He also tried this weird 'hair-mussying' move on me toward the end of our meal that he seemingly intended to be endearing, but was really just awkward and forced. I asked him to please not touch my hair, so he started talking about how important boundaries were for his start-up. 'Boundaries in the abstract'. Whatever you say, dudebro.

Anyway, I suppose the moral of that brunch is 'don't go on dates with techies.'