Alright, confession time, please take with a few shakers of salt

I was a "nice guy" for middleschool into the first year of highschool. I fit the bill and I'm not proud of that part of my past. But I know myself and I know how people, including myself, react to how they are treated. If I had vented on this subreddit about my problems I'd be marching in lines the the MRAs right now as opposed to being a shameless feminist. I know where these guys are coming from. I did, eventually, vent to a female friend of mine in confidence.

that your line of thinking is what radicalises people into the toxic extremists that have come to define the MRM in popular view. When someone is saying "I'm a nice guy, and I'm lonely, this makes me sad", what do you expect to achieve by saying "You're a terrible misogynist who doesn't deserve companionship"? Compassion, not demonisation is what is needed here. How about "that's sad, here are some resources to help"

I, very fortunately for myself and and my eventual girlfriend, got that compassion and a very helpful talk and guidance from my friend, and I'm eternally grateful to her for being one of the sweetest, warmest and most compassionate people I know, and it's in large part of a very short but very meaningful conversation with her that helped form a much more socially adept, agreeable and reasonable person I'm always striving to be today. Another girl at my school (...half the girls at my school... most of them, probably) - if I had tried to have the same conversation with - would have talked to me like a dog that shat on the carpet. And I would be at square one for a lot longer than anyone should be. I had a strange upbringing and middle school left me replete of proper socialization or social network backup to fall back on. Imagine a 9th grader self-educating about women. But I got lucky. You can be the most progressive and well educated on gender issues in the world, it doesn't mean you are qualified to speak to someone in the position some of these guys are in. A well meaning shrink could suffice.

I still remember these types of guys that didn't get the treatment I did. I'd imagine they're hanging around TRP now, they fit that bill too well. But I feel bad for them. Things never went their way and they never knew why (they were never terribly attractive to begin with, so mix that with social awkwardness and its a recipe for invisibility), and there was likely nobody in their life with the capacity to guide them without patronizing them, if they were willing at all. I'm more ashamed to have never reached out to them then to say I was like them once.

I'm still reading through the article to verify what this guy is saying is congruent with the linked post but its ringing bells I haven't heard rung for many years. Its not about whether or not what they are thinking is factually correct, or if their comparisons are appropriate or apt. They have feelings and irrational emotions too, and if you can't work with that, you're best not talking about them at all - you're not tilling a field, you're digging a trench.

Spare a thought for the wretched, if you mind, it might be more productive than whatever we are trying now. If you are familiar with my handle please excuse the irony in me using the following quote

*"It may be, this my exhortation

Seems harsh and all unpleasant: let it not;

For, gentle son, I speak it not in wrath,

Or envy of thee, but in tender love,

And pity of thy future misery"*

..sorry for the wall of text, I kind of needed that out. I'll be in my bunker.