You are justifying your opinion on the game with head canon dude. You don’t like the game you like your own made up version of events. The first game wasn’t black and white in any way, it was completely full of ethical grey areas from making you wonder about the fireflies motives to literally being a redemption story for Joel who is an incredibly flawed protagonist, it’s what made the story interesting and not just another cliched cookie cutter zombie apocalypse story. Joel did bad things in his past just like the fireflies, you are meant to question the motives of everyone. You instead are literally making shit up to justify your absolutist outlook on the story.

Should the fireflies have gotten Ellie’s consent? Yes. However the only thing we know Ellie specifically didn’t consent to was forgetting it all and going back to Jackson which Joel ignored and went through with anyway for himself. The only people who seem to be obsessed with “cuckman” are the “true fans” who have to rewrite events from the first game to make sense of their analysis of its characters.