I'm not /u/OldHippie (obviously) but I am a drug and alcohol counselor and wanted to put my 2 cents in. Although edibles are a different way of getting high, the feeling is relatively the same and won't help with your cravings. Feeling high is what feels good, not smoking. It's also not a surprise that smoking helps you feel "normal." It's been a few years since I studied the neuroscience of depression but from what I can remember it is usually caused by a lack of dopamine. Marijuana 'helps' that by essentially triggering parts of your brain to release more dopamine.

If you're going to smoke or consume edibles, you'll need to build some accountability. Make them hard to get, don't keep them in a drawer or close by. Record your use and see if you begin to use more over time. Portion out what you will take. Etc.

How old are you? This can play a factor in self control as well. Self control resides in the frontal lobe which doesn't fully develop until ~24. Essentially, the part of your brain that tells you not to do something (self control) is not fully hooked up and has a hard time controlling impulses.

If you have not done so, talk to a doctor about your depression and anxiety. I also encourage seeking a counselor. Don't visit one counselor, have a meh or bad experience, and write all of them off. Just like in every other profession, there are good counselors and bad counselors. Do some shopping. Counseling may help, medicine may help, usually both together have good outcomes.

Be safe.