r/survivinginfidelity Weekend Discussion- Bullshit Translator

This happened to me. After years of ending any relationship that my wife was uncomfortable with with male friends and never becoming friends with any woman that was not a mutual friend of ours, my wife decided that a particular male friend of hers -who was a spiritual advisor to her - was okay for her to have an emotional relationship with.

The relationship was hidden from me for six months because she knew I would’nt like it.

Once I found out it took 1.5 years for her to cut him and all the other toxic people around him off. It was almost like a cult environment.

I could’ve ended it in one month but I was codependent and she and her friend manipulated my codependency on her.

Once I was able to separate myself emotionally from her and not be manipulated by her, within days she started realizing the fact that she might lose me because she had no control over me any more. She started talking to the guy less and within a month had cut him off completely and everyone connected to him.

If I would’ve taken the right steps in the beginning I would saved myself and my kids 1.5 years of heartache. But I loved her and was totally lost as to what to do.

That was four years ago. Things are going great with us now. We’ve moved on.

/r/survivinginfidelity Thread Parent