Not mine but a funny experience of someone I know who was pretty drunk. I had a classmate in school who was known for being the senti type as well as a massive pain in the ass, loved imposing himself on others.

Luckily I didn't meet him once school got over, two years after that I get a phone call on my landline number at midnight. Mom hands me the phone "some schoolmate of yours has called, sounds drunk". Anyway this is how the conversation played out-

Me: Hello, who is this? SM(Schoolmate): italics Tells me his name, I am like WTF it's that weirdo. Me: Ok, why have you called me this late? SM: Kitna time hua mile hue? Me: Around 2 years, after school ended. SM: do saal main kitne months hote hain? Me: 24 SM: 1 month main kitne din hote hain. Me: Depends on the month but you'd get a total of 730 days for 2 years, 731 if one of the days was a leap year. SM: BC main to is question ka answer na de saku. Anyway ek din main kitne ghante hote hain? Me: 24. SM: Ok, to 730 * 24 ka answer main nahi de sakte. Ek ghante main 60 mins 7302460 ka answer bhi main nahi de sakta. Me: italics Man this guy is drunk. SM: Aur 1 minute main 60 seconds to 7302460*60 ka jawaab to main is zindagi main nahi de sakta. Me: What's your point? SM: Do saal main itne saare seconds!! Tujhe 1 second bhi meri yaad nahi aai?? Me: Uh huh, I see. SM: I am in town milte hain. Mere paas gaddi hain, gaddi main petrol hain, I will get some great chicken and whiskey. Gaddi main aana , we'll have a long drive and a heart-to-heart chat. Me: It's midnight, do one thing give me your number, I will get back to you. Don't call on my landline, dude. SM: Ok par jaldi call karna. Me: Proceed to block his number on my cell.

Thankfully I never heard from him again. That conversation felt more like talking to a girl. If I could gift him something, I'd gift him a sex change operation.