We all fetishsize people and we are all someones fetish. Just don't openly say that about someone you like. You're supposed to always look past your physical attractions at some point in the relationship. Minorities are tired of being treated like some exotic girly drink when we all just wanna feel equal. Yes, say you like his dark skin, or natural smoothness, but also say that you also like him much more for his personality. My biggest fear as I make the personal effort to get more in tune with my culture (at the obvious risk of turning more white guys off, (like I give a damn)) is that the guys I'll end up encountering may only approach me because I'm now "exotic", I want my background to be respected not fetishized. Yes, pick from your subgroup, but make it seem like you're picking the best, not just any guy. Btw, if you said that statement to me, I would be incredibly turned off.
Eh, attraction can happen after talking to the guy and getting to know him. I always suggest going on that first date if he asks, because you never know what may happen. And, if he truly wants a second oblige him, because your first three hour date is usually a horrible measure of someone's personality. By two dates you usually have a great idea if you want to continue. But, when accepting dates keep the mentality "is it possible for me to be attracted to him"? And, beyond that am I "attracted enough" to him? If he does obvious turn-offy things to you then there's no point in trying it out. Then, if you don't end up attracted enough to him your relationship will simply be on shaky ground. You'll be bored and have a wandering eye (despite your best intentions) and you'll both be stuck in a very lopsided relationship.
Both sexual and romantic preferences are learned. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Whether homosexuality is a nurture over nature trait is irrelevant because changing it in the past had overwhelming bad results. Whereas your romantic preferences, at least can easily be changed by changing your mindset and combating the negative social learning you've had about race by adjusting your media consumption. Intentionally consuming images of PoC or whatever group of people you see or think of the least. No you did not choose to be attracted to a certain group of people, but you do choose to stay that way by not changing it. It's akin to the statement: white people today are not to blame for slavery and its negative effects, but by not trying to actively make a change in the situation they are no different than the ones who instituted the system.
Lastly, stop fear-mongering the concept of racism. Racism is natural and isn't inherently bad. Racial slurs are bad, yet every minority has a slur and white people get the r-word and take it as such. We are primally disposed to be wary of those of other tribes than us, and flock more to our own race. One of our eyes best features other than recognizing other eyes is recognizing racial difference. It's a safety mechanism, animals do it too. So from at least a biological standpoint, we are all racist. Its just that as a civilized species we should be able to overcome the more animalistic traits of personalities and cross many ethnic and racial lines for the benefit of the whole group. Many us of will do this swimmingly, to varying degrees, some of us will even marry those of other races. But, some of us will simply fail to get over their social education, maybe from a lack of trying or due to how deeply its ingrained, yes they're racist and continue all the bad traits of racism. But it's going to happen, simply because people are people, if we could get more people to simply accept the fact that they're racist as much as people go out of their way to abolish it, things would be drastically better.